Friends, Foes, and Romance Oh My!
by Rb
Summary: This fic is *not* intended to be taken seriously. ^_^;; What happens when the digidestined start deciding to go after the 'objects of their desires?' Humor, that's what! ^_-  Will be finished...someday...suggestions welcome!
1. Friends, Foes, and Romance; Oh My! Part ...

**WARNING: LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

I _tried_ to swear off romance fics, but NOOO...stupid, stupid, subconscious that takes in romantic information. ::sigh:: Anyway, to save my sanity (or what's left of it), this fic has been bleeding out some of my romantic ideas for the last few months. It's far from being finished, and this is only the first part of at least three, but I figured it was time to post the $@#!&@$ thing.

I don't own Digimon, any of its related trademarks, or the username "hacking_stud" on_ any_ account. If you own the first two things, more power to you, can I rent them sometime? If you own the third...please don't kill me. ^_^ I don't write these fics for money. I kind of wish I did, 'cos then I could say that I'm only writing this fic for money, instead of for the ego trip of being able to manipulate the characters any way I want them to and the emotions of all of my (better be thousands of) readers. In any case, I don't get money for writing this. If I had a choice, however, it would be for the money.

I'm not a fan of romance in Digimon. Yeah, some of the characters look cute together, and there's probably some possibilities in the future, but I'm not too big of a supporter of any romances in Digimon, mostly because once you become a romance fan, you have to go around saying "(insert horrible mismatch of names) rules! You suck for writing a fic with (insert second horrible mismatch of names)! Die, you worm!" and that kind of thing bores me. I've declared myself to be an Iori fan just because his names is impossible to work into any romance pairing, besides his innate coolness and kendo skills and creampuff digimon and all. (How would you pronounce, say, an Iori/Ken or a Iori**/**Jyou fic? Not that I'd _write_ these fics, but still...) 

However, there's several romance pairings in some of these parts, including but not limited to Tai/Sora, T.K/Kari, and possible Joe/Mimi (if I ever bother to write her into this fic...). Writing me threatening e-mails saying, "Taiora/Takari/Jomi (is that spelled right? Is it _possible_ to spell those things right?) suck! DIE for not putting together (insert horrible mangled names here), you little (expletive)!" will get your mail deleted without a second thought. However, if you write me _nice_ e-mails saying "oh great goddess of everything good with the pseudonym Rb, would you please have some (insert horribly mangled name) in your next part?" I may just deign to listen to your plea.

Bribes will work, of course. Especially expensive bribes. 

In a fic such as this, I already have no dignity. No romance couples are certain. Anything could happen and anything probably will.

_A long time ago, in a world far removed from our own, one Muse said to her fellow Muses, "it's so hard to write things without plots!"_

_Another Muse replied, "what, you need plots when writing?"_

And thus, fanfiction was born. ^_-

**WARNING! LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDED, BUT A **_**FANFIC **_**AHEAD! THE HORROR!**

**DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!**

_**FRIENDS, FOES, AND ROMANCE; OH MY!  
TAAAAAAKE ONE!  
**_**by Rb**

It was a nice day in early spring, but T.K. Takaishi was completely unaware of that fact as he took in a deep breath and knocked on the Kamiya's apartment door. He tried to flatten down a few spikes in his blond hair, with little success.   
  
The door opened a crack. Tai Kamiya's eye looked out suspiciously. "Oh. It's you."   
  
"Hi, Tai, it's me, T.K.," T.K. babbled, oblivious to the cold greeting he'd received. "Remember me? I helped you save the digiworld. Please let me in!"  
  
Tai considered slamming the door in the younger boy's face, but he doubted that would keep the persistent (and tall...WHEN had he gotten so tall?!) boy out. He opened it slowly. T.K. ducked inside. He plunked down, without being invited to do so, on a sofa. Glowering, Tai sat on other sofa.  
  
"What do you want?" Tai started frostily.  
  
"First, is Kari here?" T.K. asked hopefully.   
  
"No. She's at her friend's house."  
  
"Well, maybe that's better, as I want to talk to you about your sister, Kari..."  
  
Tai made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a bull pawing the ground and waiting for the red flag so he could stab the matador in the butt. T.K., alive to Tai's nuances, spoke in a rush.  
  
"IwantedtoknowifIcouldgooutonadatewithKari."  
  
Tai said nothing.  
  
"I'm one of her very closest friends, and she's a very sweet girl, I wouldn't do anything to hurt her..."  
  
Tai's thoughts were running on the choo-choo train that sounds like this:  
_  
Oh, my. Someone wants to date my little sister? How dare they! Kari is too sweet and innocent to go out on a date with any uncouth boys! Yes, I've known T.K. for a long time, but I know his type, I've seen how all the girls look at him! He'll break Kari's heart! Or even worse _(in his mind)_... They could fall in love and get married before the summer break starts! That would mean...T.K. would be my new little brother, I could deal with that...but that means that arrogant jerk Matt Ishida would be my brother-in-law!_  
  
"NOOOOOOO!" Tai yelled, vocalizing his thought about being related in any way to Matt, even though the two were normally best friends. (They were on the outs this week, as per usual...) T.K, startled, stopped his nervous burble.  
  
"No! You may not date Kari! You may not touch Kari! You may not look at Kari!" Tai bellowed at poor T.K.  
  
T.K., who was urgently wishing for the support of Patamon, managed to point out the flaws in Tai's (fairly incoherent) logic. "I have classes with Kari. I have to see her. And she talks to me, too..."  
  
"Well, then, when Kari talks to you, say, say, 'sayonara!' No, that might be too sad. Say...um, wait...don't say anything at all!"   
  
"But..."  
  
"I'm her older brother, I make the decisions regarding Kari's romance. Now, go away!"  
  
Angrily restraining a flood of tears, T.K. slammed out of the house.  
  
---  
  
The next day, after school, Kari Kamiya sat on Sora Takenouchi's bed and plucked disconsolately at the threads. "He's so overprotective, Sora!" She'd heard the whole story from one of T.K.'s friends that day at school.  
  
Kari had 'adopted' Sora as an older sister soon after they'd come back from the Digiworld. Sora was kind, and older, and understood Kari's problems well, especially those involving Tai. Sora never minded, having an instinctive maternal attitude to Kari and T.K., anyway.   
  
"Older brothers are like that, Kari," Sora explained, still wearing her green school uniform.  
  
"How do you know? You don't have any," Kari accused.  
  
Sora sweatdropped. "Well, I don't have an older brother, but my mom was always really overprotective of me." One hand touched the digivice she always wore, reminding her of Biyomon and the entire Digiworld. "I've told you about how my crest glowed, right?" Kari nodded, but Sora told the story anyway. "I was so upset when I learned I had the crest of love, because I didn't think that I'd ever known love in my life. When I realized that my mom being overprotective was her way of showing love, my crest started to glow and Birdramon was able to digivolve into Garudamon." Sora smiled, remembering. She'd been so worried...  
  
"Do you still miss Biyomon?" Kari asked curiously.  
  
"Do you still miss Gatomon?" Sora replied rhetorically. She sighed. "Yes. I miss her all the time...she's my best friend, still."  
  
"Same here. But at least we can talk about our friends, together." The girls smiled at each other. "I'd also be able to discuss this with T.K., if my brother wouldn't be so dratted paranoid!"  
  
"And the conversation goes full circle..." Sora intoned. "Kari, Tai's so paranoid about you because he loves you and he doesn't want you to be hurt."  
  
"T.K. wouldn't hurt me!" Kari said indignantly. "And Tai's not paranoid about you..."  
  
Sora blushed a little. "That's not the same thing!" she protested. "We're friends, not siblings. I'll try to help him change his mind about poor T.K.. But there's no guarantee he'll even listen to me..."  
  
"You have to, Sora!" Kari said passionately.  
  
"Kari, how much do you like T.K., anyway?" Sora asked curiously. "I can't help thinking that you're a little young to be going out."  
  
"When you were my age, did you go out on dates?" Kari retorted.  
  
"When I was your age, I was saving the Digiworld. I didn't have that much free time."  
  
The two girls laughed and discussed other things until Kari had to go home.  
  
---  
  
Meanwhile, T.K. was discussing Tai's reaction to his...offer...to his older brother.  
  
_Matt acts a lot like Tai when he's annoyed,_ T.K. noted irreverently.   
  
"That arrogant, annoying, jerk!" Matt Ishida cursed. "How dare he say things like that to my younger brother!"  
  
_But what if he had allowed T.K. and Kari to go out? Kari's so nice -- I can't imagine how that happened, with her dolt of a brother -- and they'd go steady, and then I'd have to be looking at that ignorant weirdo at get-togethers! No matter that he's normally my friend, he insulted my brother, and I have to stick with my family!_  
  
"T.K.," Matt said aloud, "maybe it's for the best that Tai," he mentally inserted several better words to call him, "won't let you date Kari. I mean, now you can play the field."  
  
T.K. looked at his brother blankly. "What are you talking about, Matt?"  
  
"Well, since Kari's unavailable, find some other chick."  
  
T.K.'s expression was innocent. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Look. You have a fanclub about the same size as mine. Find some girl without an older brother, and go out with her."  
  
"But I like Kari! I've liked her for three years!"  
  
"So? You can find some new girl to like! I'll show you where to find one!"  
  
T.K. groaned silently. _Not again..._  
  
---  
  
Kari and Tai sat at the dinner table as their mother served dinner. Kari delicately picked up her utensils and ate neatly. Tai devoured his food, barely pausing to breathe.  
  
"Well," their father said, after pausing a moment to watch the spectacle of Tai, the human tornado, inhale his first serving, "what did you do today, Kari?"  
  
"I went over to Sora's," she said quietly.   
  
Tai, who was in the middle of a large mouthful, swallowed down the wrong windpipe and promptly choked. After a few minutes of hacking, spitting, coughing, and other things that always seem to happen when Tai ate, he finally managed to pronounce, "Sora's?" His voice cracked on the second syllable.  
  
Kari nodded. "Yeah." Her eyes gleamed as she considered a new way to torture her brother.   
  
"What did you talk about?" he asked, trying (and failing) to regain his normal voice range.   
  
"Biyomon and Gatomon," were the first things to come out of her mouth. Their parents, accustomed to such talk with their children but unable to talk about it themselves, simply ate. "Sora's tennis match tomorrow...we should see it, big brother."  
  
"I was already planning to go," he blurted out.  
  
"I didn't know you had an interest in tennis," their mother said offhandedly.  
  
"Well, I-" Tai started, but was cut off by Kari.  
  
"Somehow, Mama, I don't think tennis is what he's interested in." Tai turned the color of a tomato, which contrasted greatly with his foot-long brown hair._ The dagger's in place. Time to twist it,_ Kari thought.   
  
"It's a good thing for you that Sora has no older brothers," she said in the same quiet tone she'd been using through out the entire meal. Her plate being empty, she retreated to her room and slammed the door.  
  
"Kari--!" Tai called. He got up from his seat and banged on her door. When he got no response, he started kicking the door in a rage, then falling, facedown, on the couch.  
  
Their mother and father looked at each other in surprise. They'd never seen Tai before not finish his dinner.  
  
---  
  
That night, three very important phone calls were made. These phone calls could change the fate of the world. They were so important..  
  
Okay, so I'm lying and they weren't important at all, except to the people involved and their various stalkers. But hey, if the stalkers are happy, then so am I!  
  
---   
  
Kari punched out Sora's number on the phone. A ring, and someone picked up.  
  
"Hello! Takenouchi residence, Sora speaking," Sora answered the phone automatically.  
  
"Sora!"  
  
"Kari! What happened?" she asked.  
  
"Tai and I are definitely going to see your tennis match tomorrow," Kari informed her.  
  
"Really, now..." Sora paused thoughtfully. "And you want me to talk to him?"  
  
"Yeah," Kari admitted.   
  
"I'll see what I can do."   
  
"Are you ready for the match tomorrow?"  
  
"Uh-huh. I'm really excited."   
  
They talked of meaningless things for the next few moments. Then, Tai picked up the other extension in his room. "Kari! I have to use the phone!"  
  
Kari sighed. "Okay, Tai, I'll hang up in a moment."  
  
Sora sang, "Sorry, Tai!"  
  
"Sora?" Tai asked, his voice breaking again. _Twice in one night,_ Kari thought._ It must be love. Or puberty._  
  
"Yes, Tai?" she said patiently.  
  
"Uhh...good luck on the match tomorrow. Heh heh, you'll do great, won't you? I mean, you're the amazing Sora, ha-ha, I bet the other people won't know what hit them, huh? You'll score the most--"  
  
Sora, safe in her house, rolled her eyes.  
  
"Uh, Tai?"  
  
"Yes, Kari?"   
  
"Don't you have to make a phone call of your own?"   
  
"...oh. Well. Bye, Sora! See you tomorrow!" Tai said a bit too loudly.  
  
"Goodbye, Sora," said Kari, hanging up.  
  
"See you tomorrow, Kari, Tai," Sora said, hanging up the phone.   
  
Kari, curiously, walked into Tai's room. He was holding the phone in his arms, and gazing at it intently.  
  
"What was that about a phone call...?" she asked sweetly, and derived a sadistic pleasure from him jumping three feet into the air and bumping his hair on the ceiling.  
  
---  
  
"Izzy! The phone's for you!" Izzy's mother called. Izzy Izumi saved the program he was working on with a sigh and picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Izzy? It's T.K." T.K.'s voice was shrill with...horror?  
  
"Yes, what's wrong?" Izzy asked calmly.   
  
"It's Matt. He's gone...WEIRD."  
  
"How so?"  
  
T.K. started rambling. "He's started taking me to places like...that are strange, and there are lots of girls there, and he tries to introduce me to them, and they're weird, and then I start complaining, and all the girls look at me funny, and tease Matt, and..."   
  
_What I would do for an older brother like Matt,_ Izzy thought. "T.K., why is Matt doing this?"  
  
"It's 'cos I wanted to go out with Kari and Tai wouldn't let me, so Matt got really mad and--" T.K. went off on a tangent about how mean Tai was acting and how much he missed Kari and how unfair the entire situation was.  
  
Izzy held the receiver a few inches away from his ear, his eyes widening. When it seemed like the rant was almost over, he cautiously replaced the phone to its normal position.  
  
"Let me see if I have the facts in order. You want to date Kari. Tai won't let you. Matt is trying to retaliate."  
  
"What's retaliate?"  
  
"He's trying to get back at Tai," Izzy clarified.  
  
"I guess so."   
  
"If the above summary is correct..." Izzy mused. An evil grin stretched on his face, and he cackled a few times.  
  
"What was that?" T.K. asked.  
  
Izzy coughed. "Nothing. Sore throat." He continued to grin as he typed furiously on his computer for a moment. "Prodigious! I have the perfect solution for your problem."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"A list of 101 techniques to get an older brother to like you and allow you to date his sister!" Izzy announced triumphantly.  
  
T.K.'s eyes bugged out. "Why do you have a list like that?"  
  
Izzy coughed again. "Never mind. Anyway, this list will help you!"  
  
"How?"   
  
"Well, see, Tai will definitely be at Sora's tennis match tomorrow. Memorize and act upon every single technique on this list, and he'll be guaranteed to allow you to date Kari!"  
  
T.K. considered this. _Dating Kari...good. Following Izzy advice...good. Getting Matt off his back...very good._ "Okay!" he said. "How do I get this list?"  
  
"You have e-mail, correct?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'll send it to you!"   
  
"Okay. Thanks a million, Iz!"  
  
"No problem. Bye!"  
  
Izzy tapped a few commands on his laptop, and...voila! The list was sent.   
  
T.K., on his end, accessed the e-mail box. He sweatdropped upon seeing Izzy's e-mail address. _Izzy uses the name hacking_stud? _He opened the list and promptly facevaulted onto the floor.  
  
The list went something like this:  
  
  
#1: Dress to kill! But not literally, like, the girl won't wanna date ya if you kill her brother, 'cause that would be, like, totally bad.  
  
#2: Make sure, like, none of your hair sticks up. That gives a totally bad impression on the older brother.  
  
  
T.K. frowned. "Tai's hair sticks up more than mine...and I like my spikes. Matt taught me how to make them."  
  
  
#3: Girls like an aggressive man. So be aggressive, dude!  
  
  
T.K.'s eyes were permanently widened by the time he reached #10. "I'm never going to figure this out." His head slumped to the desk.  
  
After a few moments, he lifted himself back up. "If it's for Kari...I'll manage. Somehow."  
  
---  
  
"Kido residence, Jim speaking,"   
  
"Hi, Jim. It's Tai. Can you get Joe on the phone?"   
  
"Sure." Tai heard a clunk, Jim hollering "JOOOE! Phone for you!", another click, and Joe's familiar voice saying, "Hello. Jim, get off, I have the phone."  
  
"I'm hurt," Jim said. A click, and he was gone.  
  
"Hi, Joe? It's me, Tai. Listen, I have a favor to ask you..."  
  
"Of course you do. Old reliable me, always here to answer to favors. Have something to do? Ask good old Joe, that's the ticket!"  
  
"Right!" Tai said. Joe facevaulted. "Anyway...how do you make yourself, um, unattractive to girls?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Joe asked dryly.  
  
"Y'know...how do you make yourself act like no girl would ever like you?"  
  
"What?" This time, Tai detected a faint note of anger in Joe's normally pedantic tones.  
  
"Well...you know how no girl in their right mind would go out with you, right?"  
  
"I'll have you know," Joe said with dignity, "that I have a date tomorrow."  
  
Tai's eyes widened in shock. "With whom?"   
  
Joe paused for a moment, and continued in an embarrassed manner. "Okay, so I don't know who she is. See, my friend wanted to date this girl, but her cousin from America is coming, so he needed reliable me to double-date with her cousin...we're going to some sports event tomorrow."  
  
"Way to go," Tai said, trying hard not to laugh. "So. How do you get girls to not like you?"  
  
Joe closed his eyes briefly. "Well, I don't have that problem any longer," he started.  
  
_Right,_ Tai thought.  
  
"I wore glasses, had really geeky hair, and bad fashion sense. I was too practical and a bit clumsy."  
  
"So, to get a girl, I'd have to act the exact opposite?"  
  
"Having girl problems?" Joe asked dryly.  
  
"No...well...sort of...but...it's none of your business!" Tai sputtered.  
  
"Mmhmm. Well, good luck," Joe said ironically.  
  
"You, too. Thanks, man!"  
  
Joe hung up.   
  
_So, to stop Kari from dating T.K., I have to tell her that he acts like Joe did. Perfect._  
  
The obvious flaws in this plan that a five-year-old could have noticed were not apparent to Tai.  
  
---  
  
Will Sora win her tennis match? Will T.K. ever date Kari? Will Tai break up the romance before it ever happens? Will Matt use too much gel? Will Izzy get a life? Will Joe have a decent date? Will Mimi ever be mentioned in this fic? Will the author ever shut up?

Find out in the next part of **FRIENDS, FOES, AND ROMANCE; OH MY!**

yes, I love doing the announcer bit...^_^


	2. Friends, Foes, and Romance; Oh My! Part ...

Like I said before -- I'm not a fan of romances in Digimon. Therefore, no romance is safe in this fic, as I mix and match them to my heart's desire, because I _can_, daggit. Like I also said, bribes work. Bribes work very well. (Iori/Cody centered fics work well, too. ^_^) However, it make take a while for me to work in any bribed romance, because I made a chart that will work until sometime in the middle of Part 3 that I want to stick to as close as possible. This fic is confusing enough!

Besides, I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm not actually writing this fic -- it's writing itself, and I'm just along for the ride.

::glances over her shoulder at the amassed Digimon characters, all whistling or in poses of supposed innocence::

And there are some romances that will just not work. This fic will not degenerate into a lemon **anything**. ::watches several readers get up in disgust and sweatdrops:: Yaoi and yuri pairings...ehh. There are too many romances in this fic already, with an even twelve characters in the romance pool for Part 3 -- and there's no telling who'll end up with whom yet... 

_"How do I end this thing?!"_

_"I know! I know! 'The End.'"_

_**FRIENDS, FOES, AND ROMANCE; OH MY!  
TAAAAAAKE TWO!  
**_**by Rb**

It was a peaceful morning in the Kamiya apartment, until an alarm clock went off. Tai fell off his bed. "Owww..."   
  
It was par for the course.  
  
Kari, awakened by the noise, stumbled into his room and over to her brother's side. "Tai, why's the alarm going off so early?" she complained, rubbing an eye.  
  
"Well, you want to be ready for Sora's tennis match, right?" Tai grinned.  
  
"Tai, the tennis match isn't until one in the afternoon. It's 6:30 AM."  
  
Tai paused. "Good point." He got up, yawned, and darted for the bathroom.   
  
Kari rolled her eyes. "Boys..." Being sensible, she went back to sleep.  
  
  
---  
  
  
Joe woke up and managed to stay in the bed. He smiled to himself._ The new and improved, not-a-nerd Joe...soon to be a chick-magnet._  
  
Well, sort of. He went to a prestigious private school, and Mimi had informed him that girls _like_ school uniforms. "They make guys look sooo hot."  
  
"Maybe that doesn't count here, though, since everyone in Japan wears school uniforms..." Joe muttered fuzzily.  
  
Also, he was going out on a date today. His first ever date...he wondered if his date would be pretty. She'd _better_ be. Mimi had written, in her last e-mail, that girls liked guys who were already taken. He wasn't sure how that logic worked, because if a guy was "taken," wouldn't the girl want a guy she could actually go out with? This advice was in the same category as the "dyed hair colors, like pink, blue, orange, and green, are sooo sexy!" as he'd read in an earlier Mimi e-mail. If that was true, he should have had more girlfriends then...then...some guy with a LOT of girlfriends, because his hair was naturally blue.  
  
_Mimi...  
_  
Hmm. Mimi herself was in America. She did visit Japan every so often. Was he going to date...Mimi?  
  
His stomach flip-flopped. Joe groaned. "I knew there was salmonella in those eggs!"  
  
He went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Did Mimi...would Mimi...Just because she hadn't mentioned she was coming to Japan didn't mean she necessarily wasn't.   
  
Joe thought for a moment. Would he mind so much if his mysterious American date turned out to be Mimi, a not so mysterious   
ditz?  
  
_But very, very, pretty... _  
  
Joe walked back to his room and decided to check out the content of his closet. He had a date with Mimi to prepare for! _Let's see..what colors look good with pink?_  
  
  
---  
  
  
Matt woke up with a splitting headache. Ugh, what had he been DOING last night that had given him such a pain in his skull? It sounded as if someone was screaming incomprehensibly...  
  
Matt blinked fuzzily. The reason for his headache, he discovered, was that T.K. had managed to drag his CD player over to the head of his bed and was blaring one of his American rock CDs at the highest level of volume. And he remembered quite clearly what he had been doing last night -- talking to one of his MANY (heh) girlfriends, avoiding that ANNOYING June, playing a really long game of some sort with T.K., who was spending the weekend at his home, and composing some music before finally getting to sleep. The previously unintelligible lyrics went something like, "don't like hesh-don't like rap-kicked ol' sally 'cause she's fat-I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cause I stunk-smoked a bong killed a cat-had my nuts attacked by rats."  
  
On second thought, maybe they were still unintelligible.  
  
"T.K.!" he yelled, barely able to be heard over the cacophony of the music. "TURN THAT -- " the music reached a crescendo, drowning out his next few words, " -- MUSIC DOWN!"   
  
The track stopped, and T.K. scampered into the room and turned off the CD. "Well, Matt, it was the only way I could get you up!"  
  
Matt facefaulted. "You are so dead, little brother! Never wake me up before two when we don't have school!"  
  
"But Matt! You promised to take me to Sora's tennis match this afternoon!"  
  
"I _did_?" Maybe he really had done something wrong last night, he'd completely forgotten about his promise. (Selective amnesia. ^_^) "No way!"  
  
"Please?" T.K. asked, going bambi eyed. It didn't go quite as well as it had when T.K. was cute and little and eight, but Matt's heart still melted at his little brother's pitiful face.  
  
"Oh...okay, fine. I'll get ready. But never wake me up AGAIN!" he said fiercely, adding in an undertone, "you'll get arrested for disturbing the peace!"  
  
"Sure thing, big bro," T.K. beamed, any trace of tears looong gone.  
  
  
---  
  
  
"Sora?"   
  
Sora looked up from her breakfast to see her mother watching at her. "Yes, Mom?"  
  
"I...I want you to know..." The mother looked at her daughter closely. Sora was dressed in her tennis outfit already. She looked older than her actual age.  
  
"Mom?" Sora asked again.  
  
"I want you to know I'm proud of you, no matter how you do." Her mother abuptly left the room.  
  
Sora's eyes teared. "Thanks, Mom." she said in a slightly choked-up voice.  
  
Hence the sappy mother-daughter scene went, until the phone rang. Sora picked it up. "Hello! Takenouchi residence, Sora speaking," she responded.  
  
"Hi, Sora! This is...well, Tai."   
  
Sora sighed silently. "Yes, Tai?"  
  
"Um, I just want you to know that I -- I mean, Kari and I -- know you're going to do great!"   
  
"Tai...you told me this last night. And in school yesterday. And the day before." Perhaps it was cruel of her to enjoy the spectacle of Tai Kamiya making a fool out of himself every time she spoke to him or was even in the same room as him. He was just so _funny_!  
  
She did prefer, however, the old Tai that wouldn't know the emotion "love" if it hit him on the head in big block letters a _lot _more than this lovesick fool.  
  
"Oh...I did?"  
  
Sora sighed audibly. "Yes, Tai, you did."  
  
"Sora, is something wrong?"  
  
_What, that my best friend for years has finally discovered I'm female and has decided to forget I'm also a human being?_ "Ah, nothing. See you later."  
  
*Click!*  
  
Tai stared at the phone receiver. "I think I offended her..."  
  
Kari, who had woken up completely by this time, wandered into the kitchen just in time to hear the end of the conversation. She gave him a _look_. "Well, duh..." She rubbed an eye blearily and picked up a piece of fruit. Biting into it, she added "anyone could see that..."  
  
"Really?" Tai blinked innocently, and started dialing the phone again. Kari sighed and left the room.  
  
  
---  
  
  
Izzy typed furiously at his computer. "Hmm."  
  
He looked at the time. "Oh, it's almost time for Sora's tennis match. I should watch my protege there."  
  
He packed up his laptop and a large paper bag and started off, after calling a goodbye to his mother.  
  
---  
  
Mimi giggled. "No way, he did WHAT?" she said to the phone.  
  
The person on the other end of the line must have said something funny, for Mimi giggled even more.  
  
After all, what else do American thirteen year old girls do at ten PM at night?  
  
(I have included Mimi in this fic, officially including all of the Digidestined and making it a 'real' Digimon fic. Now I must go retch. Excuse me.)  
  
  
---  
  
  
"T.K.! You want me to get to this stupid game, are you READY?" Matt yelled after hanging up the phone.  
  
"All right!" T.K. said, opening the door to the bathroom cautiously. "I'm coming."  
  
Matt got a good look at T.K. and his jaw hit the ground, attached with the rest of his body as he facevaulted. "Who are you and what have you DONE with my little brother!" he asked as calmly as he could, jumping upright.  
  
"Um...Matt? Close your mouth, you're letting in flies. Let's go, big brother."  
  
"What the...?" Matt asked, taking in T.K.'s outfit with a few irate eyebrow twitches.  
  
"Izzy told me to dress like this...to impress Kari and Tai," T.K. admitted sheepishly.  
  
"Little bro?" Matt said cautiously, eyebrow still twitching.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Never, ever, take Izzy's advice again."  
  
"You have my word," said the uncomfortable T.K.  
  
---  
  
Joe looked at the bouquet of flowers in his hand. They were pink, of course, because Mimi liked pink. Didn't she? Unless she'd changed her tastes dramatically in the last few years. That didn't seem likely, but she was a girl, she was capable of changing her tastes quickly enough if she decided to...  
  
Joe paused, and looked at his companion. "Touya?"  
  
"Yeah?" asked his bored friend.  
  
"Smack me."  
  
Touya complied without changing expression. Joe grinned. "I need that."  
  
"Mmhmm." Touya looked at his watch. "The girls should be here soon." He produced a comb out of his pocket and started slicking down his black hair.  
  
Joe daydreamed the minutes away. _Mimi...Mimi...Mimi...so nice and gentle, and caring...Mimi...Mimi..._  
  
There was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see his heart's desire's face after so long. "Mi-KYAAAAAA!"   
  
  
---  
  
  
Tai sat by Sora's bed, manfully suppressing his tears. Her hospital room wasn't quite as bland as most, being literally covered in flower arrangements. Normally, there were doctors and nurses scrambling in and out of the room, caring for the intensive care patient. But for the moment, he was alone.  
  
The other Digidestined had all came and gone, except for Mimi, who was in America. All of them were distraught about Sora. Who would have thought that a tennis ball could be hit so hard that it was literally lodged in her head?  
  
The doctors didn't give her very good chances. It was just so _rare_, this tennis ball-itis!  
  
_It's time,_ he thought to himself. _I...have to tell her. He gulped. How much I care, how much I've always cared._  
  
Tai considered literally singing to tell her how he felt. It always seemed so much easier to tell people how they felt through song. However, his throat had a frog in it, so he took out the tape player and cassette tape he'd taken from Kari's collection and discreetly pressed 'play.'  
  
His ears were assailed by the more-or-less melodic sound of the words, "there's this girl I know from school, wonder why she thinks she's cool? 'Cause everybody knows she's just that slut named -- "  
  
"Sora...might not like this music," Tai said after listening the rock beat for a few moments. "What kind of music does Kari listen to, anyway?" Shaking his head, he turned to the unconscious form of Sora, still lovely, even with a tennis ball popping out of her skull. "Sora, I...I've known you for a long time. But I've only lately begun to appreciate some qualities about you...like how you always care about everyone...and how you're so nice and sweet...and how you look really good in the school uniform." He touched her cheek, the one on the side of her head not impaled by a tennis ball, lightly. A lock of reddish hair fell on her smooth cheek and his rough hand. He brushed it away, noting how it felt like silken wires.  
  
"I've got to tell you," he said as his throat constricted._ Stupid frog! I'll never eat Mom's cooking again!_ "Sora, I...I love you!" he wept as a single tear fell out of his eyes.  
  
"Tai..." The voice was faint but he still heard it. Actually, it wasn't that faint, rather loud, in fact, especially for someone with a tennis ball attached to her head.  
  
"Sora?" he asked, hardly daring to believe it.   
  
"Tai?" the voice said again, sounding...annoyed? "Taa-aaii! TAICHI KAMIYA!"  
  
Tai jerked. "Huh?"  
  
Kari's annoyed face came into existance. "Tai! Big bro! The bus is almost at our stop!"  
  
"...Oh." Tai said.  
  
Kari settled back into her seat next to Tai, paused, and gave him a side-long look. "And I don't know what you were dreaming about, but you mentioned Sora's name. Loudly. Next time you have a *ahem* dream like that, can you please keep it to yourself?"  
  
Tai blushed a deep red. "Ah. Okay. I'll try."  
  
  
---  
  
  
Izzy walked down the street until he reached a phonebooth. He walked in and spent about two minutes in there, not making a phone call, but apparently talking to himself. He spoke very loudly, and his comments were audible to the passers-by.  
  
"How is anyone supposed to CHANGE in this type of...there's no place to...and absolutely no privacy...WHAT'RE YOU LOOKING AT?!...this is very uncomfortable...stupid liars...ahh...oh...okay, this is MUCH better."  
  
After he left, passers-by still stared at him, but for a much different reason.   
  
  
---  
  
  
Kari walked a dozen paces ahead of her older brother. This was either early teenage anxiety about being seen with an embarrassing relative, or perfectly normal paranoia about someone who was, ahem, sane with average or above-average intellect being seen in public with someone who had more hair than brains -- and had said hair in a really, really bad hair style.  
  
Make no mistake, Kari loved her older brother dearly. She respected him, looked up to him, and would even demonstrably risk her life to save Tai. However, this didn't stop her from thinking Tai desperately needed to cut his hair.   
  
"Hey, Kari, wait up," Tai said, his longer legs matching Kari's strides perfectly.  
  
"What?" she snapped. She was still upset with her older brother not allowing her to date T.K.   
  
"Kari, I know you're upset at me because I don't want you dating T.K. --"  
  
_Well, isn't _he_ brilliant..._  
  
"But I had to. You see...there's something about T.K. that I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you, ah, corrupted."  
  
Kari gave her brother a long look. "What would you know about T.K. that I wouldn't? He's one of my best friends, he's sweet and innocent and the least perverted guy I know! If anything, I'd be corrupting HIM!"  
  
It was Tai's turn to look uneasily at his sibling. He decided to ignore the loaded comment, and gulped. "Kari... I didn't want to tell you this. But the truth had to come out."  
  
Kari stopped walking, faced her older brother, and started tapping one sneakered foot impatiently. "_What?_"  
  
Tai bent down to Kari's ear and whispered a few choice words in her ear.  
  
Kari's facial expression changed from boredom and impatience to shock and horror. In a voice so loud that several startled birds flew off telephone wires and several passers-by (who had just composed their faces after seeing Izzy) stared. "DID YOU JUST TELL ME THAT T.K. LIKES **HANSON**?!"  


**To Be Continued!**

Heh, heh, heh, I'm evil.   
  
No insult intended to anyone who likes Hanson...what am I talking about? Of course there's insult intended! What kind of person would I be if there was no insult intended to anyone who likes Hanson?  
  
::looks around suddenly and ducks several bullets::   
  
Ahem. If anyone's interested, the music Matt's listening to is Blink 182's Degenerate (my brother has the weirdest taste in music...) and the song that Tai plays (by accident) is Skasmopolitan's "Slut Named Rachel." Awesome song, dudes.

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't complain about my brother's taste in music...   
  
Is Tai lying when he says T.K. likes Hanson? Will this fracture T.K.'s and Kari's relationship? Who is Joe dating, anyway? Will Sora win her tennis match? Will Mimi get another line in this fic? (Probably not.) What's Izzy doing?  
  
Well, if people will REVIEW this fic, I'll write it faster. -_-;; I want ten reviews before I post the next part! I know you people are reading...REVIEW! FLAME! I DON'T CARE! MAKE IT TWO WORDS! CALL ME THE DEVIL! JUST FREAKIN' REVIEW!

::ahem:: The review box is juust down there, I leave you to do as you SHOULD...^_^;;


	3. Friends, Foes, and Romance; Oh My! Part ...

Originally, this was a two-parter. Now, it's going to be a four-parter. (Sorry. This isn't the last part. ^_^)

I'm very, very, sorry for the lack of continuity in this fic. See, originally this fic was set before season 2 started, because when this fic was begun, I hadn't *seen* the second season. Now, I have, and I really really wanted to include the 02 digidestined, 'cause Cody's adorable and he's not in enough fics as it is. So, voila, the new kids are here, yea or boo, and continuity is messed up 'cause I had in the first part Kari and Sora talk about how their digimon were, um, not there, and what are these new digidestined kids doing? They should be saving the world, but instead they're, um, about to have very, very, complicated social lives. But who cares? Oh, and the digimon are all at...um...a spa. In the digital world. Run by Gomamon and Palmon. (Gomamon finds the jacuzzis, Palmon gives massages. ^_^)

On a serious note, I do not mean to bash any characters. Bashing romances, yes, that's fine, but there's rather a lot of Tai bashing, Matt bashing, Sora bashing, Izzy bashing, Mimi bashing (if she was in here, anyway), Joe bashing, Davis bashing, Yolei bashing, June bashing, T.K. bashing, Kari bashing, and there was some Cody bashing but I edited it out because I couldn't bear to be mean to the poor guy. ::hugs:: However, all of this bashing is in FUN, I don't mean to insult anyone, nor anyone of any age/gender/race/religion etc. 

The following romance fans WILL be mad at me for this fic. If you are listed under one of more of these romance groups, and you still flame me for ignoring/mocking/mispronouncing your favorite romance(s)...I pity you. This is FFN, people. It's practically impossible to NOT find a romance in ANY section. If you really, really, really want a romance so badly, go search for some horrible jumbling of the names in the little 'search' box up there under 'summary,' and I'm sure you'll find something more to your taste. I repeat, if you are a fan of any of the fallowing romances, you'll be mad at me. 

**Taito. Taiora. Taishirou. Taimi. Tou.** **Taikeru. Taikari.** (I'm gonna be sick now.) **Taisuke. Taiyako. Taiori**.   
**Yamachi. Yamara. Yamashirou. Yami. Yamou. Yakeru. **(Ewwww.)**Yakari. Yasuke. Yayako.** (That's fun to say.) **Yaori.**  
**Sorachi. Sorato. Sorashirou. Sorami.** (Didja know that salami's made out of intestines?) **Sou.** (What?) **Sokeru. Sokari. Sosuke. Soyako. Sori.  
Kouchi. **(Kouchi Kouchi Kou!)** Koumato. Koura. Koumi. Kyou. Koukeru. Koukari. Kousuke. Kouyako. Kori.  
Michi. Mimato. Mira. Mishirou. Mimou. Mikeru. Mikari. Misuke. Miyako. **(...hey...)** Miori.**   
**Jyouchi. Jyouto.** (The 'Jyouto' League, where Ash finally catches a Gomachu!) **Jyoura. Jyoushirou. Jyoumi. Jyousuke. Jyouyako. Jyouri. **  
**Tachi. Tamato.** (Eww! I'm never eating tomatoes again.) **Tara. Tashirou. Tami. Taou. Takari. Tasuke. Tayako. Takori.**  
**Hichi.** (You pervs.) **Himato. Hira. Hishirou. Himi. Hiou. Hikeru. Hisuke. Hiyako. Hiori.**  
**Daichi. Daimato. Daira. Daishirou. Daimi. Daiou. Daikeru. Daikari.** (He *wishes*.) **Daiyako. Daiori.**  
**Michi. **(...) **Mimato.** (...) **Mira.** (...) **Mishirou.** (...) **Mimi.** (...what the...) **Mimou.** (...) **Mikeru. **(...) **Mikari.** (...) **Misuke.** (...) **Miori**. (We'll never know, for any of these, whether it's about Mimi or Miyako...stupid 'mi'!)  
**Iochi. Iomato. Iora. Ioshirou. Iomi. Ioou. Iokeru. Iokari. Iosuke. Ioyako.** (Can anyone pronounce *any* of these?)

There *is* romance in here, of course. It's just that these are the ones that are ignored/mocked. Oh, and Ken is not in this fic. 

::maniac grin:: But JUNE is!

I don't own anything. Except for my own characters, which show up here and there but they aren't really interesting and heck, I'd give 'em away if I could. I do own a fluffy Mokona!...but that has nothing to do with anything, 'cept 'Niichan's nice. ^_^

Tara-chan, I'm stealing your lyrics to the Hedgehog Song and a quote fo yours, just 'cause they fit so well. ^_-

_"Oh...  
you can do it a sheep if you lead it astray,  
or with a chicken, just part of the way  
With a lion if you have that much pride   
or with an elephant, if you're rather wide.  
You can with a grizzly if you give him a hug   
or with a bullfrog if you give him a bug  
with a giraffe you can stand on a chair,__  
__But the hedgehog'll never be buggered at all..."_

_**FRIENDS, FOES, AND ROMANCE; OH MY!  
TAAAAAAKE THREE!  
**_**by Rb**

"KYAAAAAA!" Joe screamed.   
  
"Well, that was a nice greeting," noted Touya with amusement. "Way to make the girl feel welcome."  
  
"I...I...I..." Joe stuttered. If there was anyone more different from the pink-haired girl he'd been expecting, he'd have been hard-pressed to name anyone.  
  
She was short, at least a foot and a half shorter than Joe. She had spiky neon-green hair that stuck out awkwardly around her face and ears. Her face might have been all right, but it was almost entirely hidden by a huge pair of very thick glasses with red plastic frames, hiding a pair of purple eyes, a color contrast with her hair that even Sora would have noticed. Her nosepiece was held together with a piece of duct tape. 

Her clothing choice was at a direct contrast to his neat and pressed prestigious junior high school uniform. While he wore a neat blue jacket over his crisp white shirt and had ironed his tan slacks especially for this occasion, the girl wore a baggy faded orange sweatshirt with a goose on the front, and a skirt that came just above her knees of bright orange and brown horizontal stripes. She wore knee-high socks of a lime green that just missed the vibrancy of her hair. Her shoes were velcro My Little Pony sneakers. She had very knobbly knees.

For some reason, being confronted with this vision of 'fashion don'ts' made Joe's knees buckle. He felt like screaming loudly with words a private school student like himself ought not to know. Instead, he said bravely, "Hi, my name is Joe Kido."

The girl laughed. It was a high-pitched, annoying giggle that made Joe think longingly of fingernails scratching on blackboards. "I'm Gachou Bukiyou! Hi, Joeykins!" Her voice wasn't unpleasant in itself, a bit raspy, but not too shrill. It was the voice, with the laugh, and the looks, and the name...

Joe's eyebrow twitched. _Her name means...an awkward goose?!_ He chanced a glance at Touya. He and his date, whom he had been earlier informed was named Kirei Aino (_figures_, Joe thought), were quickly degenerating into something that could be considered foreplay.

Gachou glanced at her cousin (how, how, HOW were Kirei and Gachou related?!) and, apparently getting ideas, slid a finger down... the buttons of Joe's shirt, luckily not opening anything. In a voice that might have been considered seductive in a person less...Gachou-ish, she shrilled, "you know, Joeykins, where I come from, private school uniforms are considered sooo hot...Joeykins? Joeykins?! What are you crying?"

---

Izzy walked down the street to the tennis courts. No, walking was not a good word for what Izzy was going. Strutting might be a better word. Some might use swaggering. A few might even use 'sashaying'...but that has an interesting connotation we won't touch here.

The passers-by were gawking at the arrogant walk of Izzy's. And, to be fair, pretty much gawking at Izzy, too. Some of the passers-by were gaping at him, and more than a few were ogling him, but for the most part, people were gawking at the boy.

Why were they doing so?

...you'll have to read on and find out, now won't you? ^_-

---

It had taken Joe all of his patience, good will, and gentlemanly manners to refrain from simply leaving Gachou where she stood and running away, possibly to Mimi's house in America. _With my luck, I'd end up at the Bukiyou residence._

It cost him his dignity to split off from Touya and Kirei (it was better not to give Gachou ideas). He was pretty much alone with Gachou. 

Alone. With Gachou. 

Well, of course, there were the passers-by, but they weren't really watching him.

Except for this one guy. He was tall, maybe six foot, with longer than average black hair. Otherwise, he strongly reminded Joe of himself when he was only twelve. He walked up to Joe. Joe, who thought he might be a fellow Star Trek fan, said nothing, until the guy was right in front of him, where Joe realized how _tall_ the boy was. 

"You're a digidestined, aren't you?" he asked.

Joe raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"May I have your autograph?" the boy asked in a tone of awe, thrusting a pad of paper in front of Joe's face.

"Um...kid --"

"Anthony. Call me Anthony! I would be honored to be called Anthony by such as you!" 

"Ah...Anthony...I don't have a pencil or anything," Joe said sheepishly.

"I have some!" Gachou shrilled. She pointed proudly to a pocket protector Joe had somehow missed before. Gachou handed it to Joe. Joe obligingly opened it up. His eyebrow twitched as he took in the fact that each of the pencils were engraved with...

_...not only her name but her ADDRESS?!_

Joe smiled a smile he didn't mean and signed 'To Anthony. Joe Kido' with the kind of flourishes and illegibility that you can only achieve by being either some sort of medical student or being someone with loads of practice signing your name. (Joe was both.) He then handed the pad back to Anthony and started striding down the street.

With a cry of "waaaaaaaait!" Gachou ran up to Joe and grabbed his arm. Joe, not seeing where he was going, tripped. Luckily, he managed to catch himself before he fell very far, but he dropped the pocket protector. Gachou's pencils flew everywhere. A few innocent passers-by stepped on them.

"WAAAAAAAH!" Gachou cried. "My pencils!" She scrambled about picking them up. When she found one that had snapped cleanly in two (right between 'Gachou' and 'Bukiyou,') she started wailing. 

Right on Joe's nice, clean, navy blue jacket.

"Uhh...there, there?" Joe suggested awkwardly, wandering if her tears would stain.

"That won't do, Joeykins, don't you know about girls?" Gachou sniveled. "I need a kiss to make it better!"

Joe froze in utter shock. 

"WELL?!" she thundered.

---

Matt and T.K. walked down the street. Well, Matt walked. T.K. looked as if he'd rather burrow into the ground.

The passers-by stared. The passers-by should have brought video-cameras. That would have cut down on the staring. Some of the passers'-by normally stoic faces looked unusually worried and strained.

"Why's everyone looking at us funny?" T.K. asked nervously.

"They're staring at you, little bro. They think you're a menace to society," Matt said, flashing a toothy grin. T.K. seemed to sink down lower.

Thw two brothers looked up as they saw someone across the street start yelling, "why'd I tell him my name's Anthony?! My name's NOT Anthony! My name's--!" The boy dissolved into tears.

Several passers-by started screaming about the humanity of it all. The brothers looked at each other (Matt keeping a straight face with effort) and walked on.

---

After several minutes of babbling, Joe managed to talk himself out of giving Gachou a get-better kiss (instead fixing her pencil with a piece of scotch tape) and suggested, "you know, I have this friend, she's in a tennis match today, let's go see it..."

"She?" asked Gachou archly.

"Ah, yeah, Sora Takenouchi, she's a very close friend of mine."

"Really?" Gachou asked, looking disappointed. "Is she prettier than I am?"

Joe sweatdropped, realizing what direction this conversation was heading. However...if it got Gachou of of his back...

Wait, this might involve (gasp, horror, shriek!) telling a _lie_! Telling a lie and getting Gachou away from him and Sora possibly mad at him, or telling the truth and have Gachou continue her limpet-like grasp on his arm...

"Yes!" he practically shrieked. "Sora's very, very, pretty! She has, um, red hair like, er, red hair, and eyes that are like big brown circles with black dots in the center, and she's, um, got a pretty good figure." 

_If Sora ever hears what I just said, I'm dead...but, after all, she _does_ have a good figure..._

"Oh." Gachou seemed disappointed. She removed her grasp from Joe's body. Joe gave a discreet sigh of relief and pleasure as blood flowed back into certain parts of his anatomy. "So, are you two, um, together? 'Cause I'm sorry if I glomped on you inappropriately. You're just so glompable."

"It's an easy mistake to make," Joe allowed benignly. _Yesyesyesyesyes!_

---

Sora shielded her eyes in the noon glare of the sun. Were her friends at the court yet? Yes, there was Matt and T.K....was that T.K.? He looked...different. Maybe it was the glare of the sun.

She really, really, really hoped it was the glare of the sun. 

And there were Tai and Kari. Tai was certainly unmistakeable, with that hair. He waved wildly when he saw her looking in his direction. Sora grimaced a bit and averted her gaze. 

Yolei and Cody were walking towards Tai and Kari, somewhat more sedately. Davis and his sister, June, were _skipping_ towards Matt and T.K.... no, actually, it looked more like June was making a beeline for Matt and Davis was clinging onto June's arm, begging her to stay back. Sora easily hid a smile.

Oh? Was that Joe? Who was the girl with him, then? She wore a very...well, loud outfit. And, oh_ my_, was that Izzy? 

Far from having to refrain from keeping a smile, Sora had to stuff her knuckles into her mouth to keep from laughing loud.

"Sora, what's wrong?" asked one of the other members of the tennis team.

"Nothing...nothing, Mia."

"Strange group of people out there, huh?" Mia asked, indicating the rapidly narrowing space where Sora's friends had gathered.

Sora nodded. "The weirdest."

---

"Hey, Sorasorasorasorasoraa!" Tai yelled, waving his arms wildly. Kari quickly chose a seat a few rows away from her brother.

"Hi, Kari!" a familiar voice rang out. Kari blinked.

"Yolei! And Cody! What are you doing here?" Kari asked, motioning them to sit besides her.

"Sora asked us to come...she said something about Tai being a one man cheering squad on his own, but she'd rather more people come to sort of space him out," Yolei explained. Cody nodded agreement.

Kari hid a smile. Sort of. Attempted. It was a jolly good try, anyway. 

"Do I see T.K. and _Davis_?" Yolei asked, frowning as she said Davis's name. It was the sort of frown you have when you say "Mom, there's a rotting piece of flesh on the freeway, and I think you just ran over it, and now the car'll smell really bad, so you have to burn the tire."

"I hope not," Kari frowned.

"Well, Davis has no excuse not to be on the other side of an unmarked grave," said Cody, "but what's wrong with T.K.? I thought you two were best friends!"

Kari shifted uneasily. "It's kind of hard to explain..."

---

June Motomiya was a Very Determined Woman. When she wanted money for that super-cute sweater, she Very Determinedly begged her father until he gave her the cash. When she wanted to watch her TV show, she Very Determinedly kicked Davis until he would give up. When she wanted a man like Matt Ishida...she Very Determinedly chased after him until he was hers.

Well...would be hers.

Soon. Very, very, soon. She could feel it.

She just had to inform Matt of this fact.

"June, slow down!" Davis gritted through his teeth. 

"What's wrong, dear little brother?" asked June sweetly. 

"Normal people do not RACE through the bleachers and try to trip their dear little brothers who are barely hanging on," Davis spat. 

June blinked innocent eyes. "But it's to see Maaatt!" she said in a perfectly reasonable, if whiny, tone.

"June, you're my sister. So please believe me when I say, with the utmost brotherly love and respect, that IF YOU FOLLOW MATT AROUND FOR MUCH LONGER HE'LL CALL THE POLICE AND SLAP A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOU!"

June just giggled. "You're so weird, little brother." She continued to hurry off to see _her_ Matt.

Muttering under his breath, Davis followed.

He supposed it wasn't a bad thing to have June as an older sister. He could be stuck with someone like (gag, shudder) Yolei. As far as big sisters went...well, he didn't know many kids who had older sisters, but he guessed June was all right, if a bit bossy. 

Really bossy.

And embarrassing...

_Why, out of all of the guys in the world, does she have to like T.A.'s brother? _Davis thought furiously._ Like it's not enough that that twerp doesn't realize Kari's _my _girl, my sister can't get enough of that Matt kid! Like we have to fluff up those brothers' egos any more! Why can't June go for someone with a cute little sister my age, instead of a jerk like T.M.!_

Davis gave a mighty sigh that basically summed up the suffering of all younger siblings and started walking faster to catch up to his sister.

And stopped in his tracks.

Completely ignoring the rather disgusting sight of his sister glomping on the eyebrow twitchin' Matt, Davis stared at his 'romantic rival.' The other boy had gotten a brand-new look.

His shaggy blonde hair had been slicked down with massive amounts of hair gel, so that it resembled a tupperware bowl (or maybe that brat Cody.) The cheerful long sleeved t-shirt/shorts combo that the blue-eyed boy had always favored had been replaced by a dark yellow shirt with "stud" apparently hand-written in black letters, an incredibly huge, obviously borrowed, black leather jacket, and -- Davis couldn't believe his eyes -- leather pants. Black leather pants. _Tight_ black leather pants.

Davis was just impressed that the other boy could even sit down.

"T.K.?" Davis asked in a wavering tone. It was a mark of his agitation that Davis had gotten the other's name right.

"Yeah?" responded the other boy, in a distressed tone. _Maybe the pants are cutting off his circulation. I wouldn't doubt it._

"What did you _do_ to yourself?!"

---

Yolei knew cute guys.

If Yolei knew one thing, she knew cute guys. 

Cute guys were her best subject.

She knew different kinds of cute guys. There were the pretty boys who were almost beautiful, like Matt and Ken (even if he's the Digimon Emperor and beats poor defenseless digimon until they can't move from the pain, he's still damn hot!). There were the nice, studious, polite boys that were cute with sort of boyish charms, like Izzy and Joe and Cody (when he grows a bit more.) There were the hot foreign guys like Michael and Willis, how cool could they get? There were the jock guys, like Tai and T.K. and even Davis, when he wasn't being a jerk. 

But this guy topped them all.

He was kind of short, which was okay, because she liked shorter guys. (And taller guys. And guys the same height.) He was wearing a perfectly-fitting (this is the cool part!) tuxedo. To a tennis match. _Does this guy know how to dress or what?_ On his head was a black top hat. Covering most of his face was a mask, obscuring his true facial figures.

He swaggered down to where Yolei was sitting and handed her a perfect purple rose. Yolei swooned.

"Oh my GAWD, you are the most AWESOME guy in the WORLD! You are so incredibly gorgeous, I cannot believe my EYES! Cody, look at him!" she squealed. "Isn't he so...so...COOL?!"

Cody, used to his friend's hysterics, nonchalantly pinched her arm.

The pain didn't stop Yolei from clasping the handsome stranger's arm. "Please tell me, what's your name?" she gushed

The handsome and mysterious stranger glanced at her from behind the pineapple yellow mask. "My name is - " a violin played in the backround - "Tuxedo Koushirou."

---

Matt strolled along the bleachers, glanced around in a paranoid fashion, and ducked behind Tai. 

"Hi, Tai," said the blonde boy. "Care to hide me with your hair for just a few minutes longer?"

Tai didn't pay attention. All of his (few) brain cells were focused on one thing -- a little red-haired girl, in a really short skirt.

"So, Tai, what was with that phone call this morning?"

Tai still didn't respond.

"Hey, Tai, I've taken your wallet out of your back pocket and I'm removing about fifty dollars, that all right?"

Nothing.

"Sora looks good out there, doesn't she?"

"She's MINE," Tai snapped, turning around fiercely. 

"I wasn't trying to claim --" Matt started.

"I've known her longer than you have! I've loved her for too long! BACK OFF, ISHIDA!"

"SHUT UP, KAMIYA!" Matt yelled back. Several people were starting to stare, and Matt winced. _All I need is _June_ trying to glomp on me again...my poor, poor, wallet..._

"Listen, Tai," Matt sighed. "I'm not trying to take Sora from you. In fact, you can have Sora, and I can have the rest of the girls in the world. But there is one major problem with your possession of Sora..."

"Which is?" asked Tai, having turned back towards the court.

"Have you even asked her out yet?" 

Tai swiveled around so fast his hair gave him whiplash. "Of course not!"

"Then how can you have a claim on her?" Matt asked silkily.

Tai opened his mouth, then closed it, appearing to think (quite possibly for the first time ever.) Matt, seeing that Tai's mass of hair was no longer enough to hide him from the Glomps of June, started to saunter off into another direction.

Tai sat.

---

Cody sighed.

Yolei had left her seat, clutching desperately onto 'Tuxedo Koushirou,' a strange boy who bore a rather strong resemblence to their friend and mentor Izzy. Cody supposed he should have tried to stop her, in case it turned out that Tuxedo Koushirou was an evil plan of the Digimon Emperor's to weaken the digidestined, but Yolei was a big girl, capable of handling herself, and anyway she'd probably beat him up if he interrupted one of her dates.

Cody sighed again. He was a sighing kind of person. There was a lot you could do with a good sigh. He had perfected the art of sighing. He had different sighs for many different occasions, including "oh, great, Davis is doing something idiotic again," "oh, no, Yolei's mooning over yet another guy," and the all-time favorite, "I can't believe you people are so _stupid_!"

Cody was vaguely aware that on the other side of Yolei's vacated space, Kari was trying to look anywhere but at her brother Tai, who was staring intently at the tennis courts. Cody was surprised that fire wasn't shooting from his eyes to the nets.

He supposed he should be glad he wasn't like the older kids and being driven mad by hormones. 

There were some times when the desire to age and grow mature were severely blunted. When the people you saw on a daily basis were like Davis and Yolei, hormone-driven freaks of nature, those times happened quite frequently.

Still, Cody wondered what it was like to date..

---

Cherry blossom petals drifted across the scene, as Yolei and her mysterious suitor walked through a lush green park. It was beautiful. 

Yolei sighed dreamily. "Tuxedo Koushirou, how did you learn how to be so cool?"

A flash of white teeth. "Well, there was this time at computer camp where I stuck a floppy disk up my..."

"You're kidding! Me too!"

Ahh, geek love...

---

Then again, Cody considered, being sane wasn't exactly a drawback.

He was aware, in a theoretical way, that there was an argument going on besides him. He was also aware that he should be trying to stop everyone from fighting.

But frankly, he couldn't be buggered.

---

"Uhh..." T.K. cleared his throat. "Hi, Kari."

The brown-haired girl's head snapped around and she stood up. "T.K?!" She stared at the boy for a few moments. "What the...what happened to you?"

"Yeah, I get that a lot," T.K. said dryly. "So, uh, do you like it?" He crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping, hoping, hoping...

"I'm not speaking to you," said Kari haughtily. She jutted out her chin and proceeded to violate her vow. "So there."

"Why, Kari?" asked a confused T.K.

"You know why, you evil, evil, being!" snapped Kari. "I'd never, ever, date you!"

"Hey, what can I say, the girl has taste!" said Davis, grinning. 

"Huh?" T.K. whimpered, looking and sounding like a kicked puppy. "What's wrong, Kari? Don't you love me anymore?" He tried to manfully suppress his tears...but then again, T.K.'s not exactly a man.

"But you lied to me!"

"When?" asked a very confused T.K. Davis listened eagerly, always happy to listen to gossip about T.K.

"You...you...you have the HANSON CD!" Both Davis's and the silently listening Cody's eyes widened, as they'd never anticipated such a horrible, horrible thing.

T.K. bit his lip. "It was only once, Kari, and I was young and stupid..."

"I don't care! You've betrayed my trust! I can never see you again!"

T.K. burst into tears.

Davis smirked. "Well, Kari, now that your Friday nights are free, how about having a REAL man to date?" He strutted and puffed out his chest.

"Get real, Davis, the closest thing you are to a real man is a gorilla. Besides, I know for a fact that you listen to Britney Spears' music."

Davis placed his hands on his hips. "She's got decent music...and her music videos are cool..." Davis's nose started to bleed.

Kari sniffed. "As if! I need a man who can appreciate _good_ music!"

"Like?" Davis challenged.

Kari's eyes searched areound for a victim -- er, target. "Like...um...HIM!" She grabbed the arm of...Cody. A flicker of alarm was instantly visible in his emerald eyes. "Cody, do you like ska music?"

"..."

"Do you want to take me out for pizza after the tennis match?"

"..."

"Good! It's settled!" Kari gave Cody a bone-crushing hug and smiled.

Davis joined T.K. in blubbering. 

---

Meanwhile, the older kids had some problems of their own. Instant recap time:

Sora was finally actually playing tennis. (What, have you all forgotten that's the reason we're at the tennis court? -- ed) She was having a bit of difficulty, however, because Tai was alternately calling out her name and cursing off the girl whom she was playing. 

June had caught up with Matt. 

Joe was still trying to deal with Gachou.

Izzy/Tuxedo Koushirou was in the park romancing Yolei. 

Mimi was asleep in her bed in America, luckily escaping this insanity.

And now for a more in-depth look...

---

Sora was breathing heavily. Sweat formed on her forehead and ran in trickles down her face. 

"The next person to score a point wins," announced the referee.

Sora nodded and gripped her tennis racket, preparing to serve. She had to concentrate. This was very important. She could not lose. She would have won already if not for --

"YOU CAN DO IT, SORAAAAA!" 

-- him.

"Excuse me, may I have a moment?" asked Sora sweetly of the referee.

"That's highly irregular --"

"Excuse _me_, _may_ I _have_ a _moment_?" 

There are some things that most people will find frightening. There are many things that some people find frightening. However, one thing that everyone, no matter what age, gender, race, or religion, will find scary is the sight of Sora Takenouchi when she's really mad.

And Sora had passed that stage about ten minutes ago.

"Yes'm," said the referee.

Sora marched through the stands to where Tai was sitting and cheering. She halted about two feet in front of him. With her free hand, she gripped his face and brought it up to her own face's level.

Tai attempted to grin, but thought better of it as her fingers dug into his flesh.

"Tai, I want you to do something for me, okay?" Sora cooed. "Now, it's not very much, but it's very important, so I want to make sure I say it in terms that you're tiny brain can comprehend."

Tai nodded eagerly.

"Tai," Sora said. "While I'm on the court for this last serve, I want you to do something very, very, simple, okay?" 

"Eeep," was Tai's comment.

She took in a deep breath and screeched, "I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP AND NOT DISTRACT ME!" Then with some effort, Sora pasted a smile onto her face. "Understand, Tai-boy?"

Tai whimpered.

"I choose to take that as a yes," Sora grinned, walked back down to the court, and served.

Her opponent was so stunned, she let the ball sail past her without even making a move to block it. 

Sora had won.

Tai considered cheering, but thought better of it. For once.

---

"So, Maaaaatt!" June squealed as the crowd erupted in (slightly stunned) cheers for Sora. "What are you doing next Friday night?"

"Washing my hair," Matt replied, perfectly dead-pan.

Nonplussed, June asked, "so what about Saturday night?" 

"Washing my hair." 

June, feeling a bit discouraged, tried again. "How about Sunday afternoon? I hear there's a really cool -- " 

"Sorry. I'm drying my hair."

"You're lying to me!" June wailed.

Matt rolled his eyes as he looked at her. "You don't think that my hair gets like this by itself, do you?"*

*Actually, Matt wasn't lying about spending all weekend washing his hair. Matt Ishida used so much shampoo, hair spray, and gel on his hair that his father had forbidden him to wash his hair more than once a month. Therefore, when Matt washed his hair, he really made it count.

Jun sighed. "But, Maaaatt! What about our time together?"

"Actually, you look like you could spend some more time on your own hair," Matt said, not unkindly. "I can tell you of some really good brands."

"Maaaaatt!"

He sighed. "But you looked as if you wanted my hair-styling advice."

"I don't want your hair," said June, happy to have been handed such a straight line.

"Eh?" said Matt, looking genuinely surprised.

"I don't want your hair," June repeated for the sake of drama, her voice deepening sexily (she hoped). "I want you, Matt."

Matt squeaked. "W-w-what?"

June sighed. "Maaaaaaatt! Pay attention when I make a dramatic speech!"

Matt winced, finally realizing the point of her cornering him. _And I thought it was all because of the hair!_ "Look, June, I'm sure you're a nice girl and all -- "

"Date me, so you can see how wrong you are!"

" -- but I, I'm already involved in a relationship," Matt said, the wheels in his head spinning furiously.

"With whom?" asked June skeptically.

"With my hair!" burst out Matt. "I am, I am, I am very involved with my hair! We have a very...uh...committed relationship!"

"But don't you feel the...need...for human companionship?" June sighed romantically.

"Erk. I'm sorry, June, I didn't want to hurt you, but I am actually involved in a committed relationship. I'm dating, um," he closed his eyes and hoped for luck, "that person, over there!" He pointed.

June squinted to see who her former lover-boy was pointing at. By a serendipitous coincidence*, Matt turned out to be fingering Tai, who was currently being beaten over the head with a tennis racket (courtesy of Sora). 

*Chance favors: a) the prepared. b) those who load their dice.

"Oh, that's cool. Tai's a really hot guy, I would have gone after him except that my little brother Davis wants to date his little sister Kari and if they got married then Tai and I would be related and that's just ick -- wait a second," said Jun, whose mind finally had caught up with her mouth, "Matt, you're dating TAI? Does that mean you're GAY?! "

By some coincidence, June's voice had reached that point that's so loud that everyone can hear what she was saying, to the maximum embarrassment of Matt, who blushed and said "NO! I'm NOT GAY!"

"Matt, it's okay!" June 'soothed' him. "A lot of my crushes have told me they're gay! You don't have to deny yourself any longer! I'm okay with it!"

"But I'm NOT," he said between gritted teeth, "I meant SORA."

"Sora?" June blinked. "That little tennis girl that's beating Tai over the head? Well, I hate to lose you to anyone, but I guess you should go down there and rescue her."

"Rescue?" asked Matt, with a sweatdrop.

"Yeah, rescue! I'll be watching!"

Matt twitched. "Great, just great.."

---

Joe had been having a really terrible time throughout the whole tennis game. This was due to Gachou, who, even though he had a 'girlfriend', insisted on sticking next to him and talking incessantly. And clinging to his arm.

"Hey," said Gachou, "Joeykins, wake up."

"My name is not Joeykins," Joe sighed wearily.

"Joeykins, isn't that your girlfriend?" Gachou persisted.

"Huh?" Joe said, suddenly waking up fully.

"She's talking with that other guy...and another guy's coming up to her!"

"Have you no sense of shame?" Joe wondered.

"What would I do with it?"

"Never mind. So, because two guys are talking to my, um, girlfriend," Joe winced at the lie, but Gachou didn't notice, "I'm supposed to do what?"

"Tell her to stop, duh!" Gachou said. Her eyes became dreamy. "When one is in a relationship with one as cool as my Joeykins, one cannot even look at other guys!"

"One. Since when was I anyone's Joeykins? Two. Sora and I have discussed this before. She said that just because she's in a committed, long-term relationship, that doesn't mean she can't also be a hooker," said Joe, rambling on.

"And what did you say?" 

Joe shrugged. "I said, 'I suppose I'm all right with that.'"

Gachou gaped. "I can't believe you have such low self-esteem! This blow to my Joeykins' honor cannot go unavenged!" 

"Wha...what...wait! I don't care if she's a hooker!" Joe protested as Gachou dragged him to where Sora was (still) beating Tai with her tennis racket. To be fair, she was alternating this with yelling "you IDIOT!" Somehow, Gachou got them there before Matt showed up. (Again, Matt wasn't exactly in a hurry...)

"How dare you!" she snapped as she was face-to-face with Sora.

Sora blinked. "Pardon?"

"You're cheating on Joeykins with this weirdo with freakish hair!"

"Hey!" Tai said, insulted. "There's only one of us here with freakish hair! And it's you!"

Sora and Joe's faces became noticeably wooden.

"And anyway, whaddaya mean by 'cheating' on Joeykins? Who's this Joeykins anyway?"

"Uh, me," Joe blushed. Sora and Tai gained huge sweatdrops.

"Oh. But, anyway, the only guy Sora's dating is me!"

"Is that so," Sora said coldly, "well, you neglected to inform me of that!"

"I...I...I...well, you should have been dating me, anyway!"

"And who's fault is that?"

Matt appeared at this mini-Jerry Springer set and sweatdropped. "Um, sorry if this is a bad time, but I'm supposed to, uh, 'rescue' Sora."

"Rescue me, what do you mean by that, I'm fully capable of doing any rescuing that I need!" Sora snapped. "I'm a woman of the new millenium and I don't need any guys to rescue me, I'm fully capable of making my own choices!"

"Yeah, right! You cheat on Joeykins!" said Gachou, who could not keep her mouth shut. "You may talk big, but..." she grinned evily, "but you're still a hooker!"

"A WHAT?!" Sora screeched. Joe started looking for something to hide behind, but since he was the tallest, there was no hiding his guilty face.

"Sora, you're a hooker?" asked Matt, eyes glazed.

"I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought..." said Tai.

"You learn something new every day," Matt said decisively. 

"Hey, Maaaatt, are you breaking up with Sora or something?" called June as she strode up to the group, shoving aside Joe (who tripped and fell) and appearing next to Gachou. Matt was struck by their resemblence. If June had dyed her hair green and gotten a pair of thick glasses, they would have been practically identical.

"Uh, no, I'm not!" said Matt hurriedly as he gripped onto Sora's arm. Tai, seeing his stance, gripped onto Sora's other arm.

They were both forced to hold on to Sora tighter than they'd expected as she screamed and started trying to hit both of them. "You IDIOTS!"

Joe, sprawled across the bleachers, looked up at the sky. One of his ear pieces slipped as he groaned, "you really have it in for me, don't you?"

**To Be Continued...**

Yes, Joeykins. Yes, I do. ^_^

I was going to say something clever here, but I just looked at the window and said "Oh my god, it's **SNOWING**!" Score one for my power of observation, it's probably been snowing for the past hour or so. 

Thank you, Oniichan, for giving me the basic description of Gachou. ^_^ I don't know if Gachou actually is a name, but who cares? 

Now, my mind has been blown by the appearance of snow, and I'm actually sick as I type this and I should be sleeping, but I have to say something first.

I really, really want to finish this fic. It was the first Digimon fic I'd ever attempted, and it's definitely one of the more slapstick fics I've attempted. I was bogged down for about two months at the same few scenes, and I was considering posting it half-finished and asking someone to complete it for me. However, I managed to have fun and continue writing this. If you have any ideas for this fic, then write 'em down there in the little box! I wouldn't be writing this except for the fans. And the death threats I shall be receiving if I don't finish this monster soon. ^_^;; 

You think I'm kidding -- but I'm not. -_-;;

I give you all permission to e-mail or IM me [(Rbooks5678@aol.com][1]) and yell at me if I'm not working on this, Kyoudai (my other series, which threatens to be an even bigger monster than this one), or my column, which is due in less than a week. Uh-oh. ^_^;;

What will happen on Kari's and Cody's date? Will T.K. and Kari get back together? Will Davis and Kari ever _get _together? What else do computer geeks do when on a date? Will Matt and Joe ditch their annoying dates? What's up with the connection between Gachou and June? Will Mimi show up? Who gets Sora: Tai, Matt, or Joe? Will Sora say "Screw you three, I'm a liberated woman!" and run off to Tahiti with the Digimon Emperor? (Hey, it's a possibility.) 

Just remember, nothing 

Write what you want to see, and I'll laugh at your pathetic responses and do things my own way, much like Fox Kids! ^_-

   [1]: mailto:(Rbooks5678@aol.com



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